Exercise like the Cubs

As I face another visit from my mom, which is always a caloric nightmare, I ponder exercise and think about the Cubs as they face the growing possibly of doing something other than playing ball this postseason.

To keep in game shape (or some facsimile thereof) the Cubs need to make sure they have the flexibility and strength to make some of their famous gameday gestures and poses.

Now you folks at home can play along. Get as fit as Geo Soto or Carlos Zambrano. Let's do some Cubs-inspired exercises.

Note: This blog will not be held liable for injuries incurred by trying these dangerous moves, nor for financial losses and mental distress caused by time on the DL.

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Carlos Zambrano God-point

Phew! Carlos got out of another tough jam! He celebrates getting three outs by giving credit where credit is due -- to the big guy upstairs, for giving him all this talent and a fun-loving attitude.

You, too, can get right with God and give Him thanks for getting through another day of menial labor and familial strife.

How it works:

• Start in a standing position, with your arm curled.
• Extend arm upward.
• Point index finger to sky.
• Turn head upwards.
  

Muscles worked: Deltoids, biceps, trapezius

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Alfonso Soriano Hop

Catch a fly ball in the outfield with style, leaping like that graceful, Royal blue-clad ballerina of left field -- the Fonz. This is the hop that injured him last year, so make sure to stretch out beforehand.

How it works:

• Start in a standing position.
• Sprint a few steps.
• Leap into the air, bringing your left knee up, while raising your catching arm in the air.
• Land on your right foot.
• Limp off the field with the assistance of Ryan Theriot.

Muscles worked: Deltoids, biceps, glutes, laterals, quads

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Ryan Dempster Railing Leap

Everybody knows Dempster has quite the reputation as a funny man with a pretty mean Harry Caray impersonation. This year, he added physical comedy to his repertoire, with hilariously painful results.

How it works:

• Start from a standing position near a railing.
• Grab the railing.
• Launch from the balls of your feet, assisted by your arms, with the goal of clearing the railing with your feet, legs and hips.
• Hear the crunch as your toe makes contact with the railing.
• Limp to the nearest emergency care facility.

Muscles worked: Biceps, triceps, glutes, abdominals, laterals.

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Kosuke Fukudome Spin

Fukudome has the awesome ability to make opposing pitchers look foolish. He also has the less-awesome ability to make himself look foolish when the violence of his tornadic swing throws him off-kilter. Take spinning to a new level with this exercise.

How it works:

• Start in a standing position, with hands clenched around an imaginary bat.
• Lead with hands and spin body around twice.
• Return to original position.
  

Muscles worked: Biceps, triceps, obliques, laterals

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Aaron Miles bench sit

This is Aaron Miles at his best. In the dugout. Not in the game.

How it works:

• Start in sitting position.
• Remain in sitting position.

Muscles worked: Glutes