Ugliest Men in Baseball: Aaron Harang

This occasional series on some of the ugliest men in baseball focuses on those guys who have distinguished themselves through their unattractiveness. Why do this? To gain a better understanding of the role of physical aesthetics as it relates to player performance. In other words, this has absolutely no redeeming societal value whatsoever.

Ah, Aaron Harang. What an ugly couple of years for the ugly man, who looks like Droopy the Dog and pitches like a dead dog.

Things didn't always look so grim for Harang. Not so long ago, he was a rising star. The National League wins champion and strikeout champion in 2006, he finished fourth in the National League's Cy Young voting in 2007. His career's gone into the crapper since, as he's only managed 12 wins in 2 years. This year, he leaves the ugly scene of battle courtesy of an emergency appendectomy.

Interestingly, Harang's pitching downfall correlates with Dusty Baker's tenure as Reds manager. Yes, the same Dusty Baker that expertly managed pitching phenoms Mark Prior and Kerry Wood right into the dirt.

How ugly is he? 9 on the 10 scale.

Career stats: 75 wins, 80 losses. ERA 4.24.

Studs and Duds

A weekly look at baseball's fabulous and not so fabulous.

• Hanley Ramirez, Florida Marlins. No secret here. He's been a fantasy baseball staple since he broke into the league a few years back. He had a stellar week this week, batting .500 with 10 RBIs.
  
• Derek Holland, Texas Rangers. The rookie from Ohio has two wins this week, including a complete game shutout against the Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim in California, etc. etc. He still has a losing record, but hopefully this is the start of something big for him.
• Bronson Arroyo, Cincinnati Reds. He gets props for being honest, insanely so in a world full of misrememberers and flat-out liars. A former co-worker of mine muses that if he were completely honest, he'd admit to being a lousy pitcher and with a doofy hairstyle who lacks any trace of musical talent.
  
• Josh Johnson, Florida Marlins. He's been totally awesome this year, 12 wins-2 losses, and an ERA under 3. This week, he's had two wins, with a sweet ERA of 1.35, striking out 11 against the Rockies.



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• Chicago Cubs. I think the Cubs have come up with a brilliant plan to avoid getting swept in the first round of the playoffs for the third year in a row. How? By not making the playoffs this year. Brilliant! After getting depantsed by Philly at home, they've been playing well, including putting up football numbers in a game this week. Of course, having the Pirates in town helps. Let's see some similar firepower against winning teams.
• Boston Red Sox. Why are the Sox involved in so many donnybrooks? It was like that tired old joke about hockey -- I was watching a fight when a Red Sox game broke out. Kevin Youkilis will be featured in the near future in the "Ugliest Men in Baseball" occasional series.
  
• Johnny Cueto, Cincinnati Reds. Young Johnny was eaten alive by the "young" Nationals Saturday --eight hits in 2.2 innings. He gets special demerits for being on my fantasy team -- though he's about to be joining the waiver wire.
  
• Me. For having Johnny Cueto on my fantasy team's pitching staff. No wonder I named my team "Captain Choke."
  
• The media following Sarah Palin. I'm tired of seeing headlines about her, her daughter and whatever nonsense is floating out of her stupid mouth. News flash: As an ex-governor and a failed veep candidate, she is no longer relevent. And she hates the media anyway. So go leave her to twitter nonsense to her fan club until she decides to run for president.

Cincinnati is for lovers

The great downside of MLB.tv? Having to listen to the opposing team's commentary team. These Cincinnati Reds commentators -- and no, I don't care enough to list their names here -- are so annoying. One of them, the younger-sounding man "A", keeps sucking up to the older one "B" at least 5 times during this game, and it's still going on.

For instance, A complimented B for having the mental acuity to figure out a trivia question, going on and on about his brilliant, deductive reasoning. Then, when they were bemoaning the Cincinnati Reds lack of winning, A called B "a half-full kind of guy." The others I fail to remember, but it comes just short of "The brilliant light in his eyes and his warm, gentle smile make my heart go flippity flop!"

Dudes, it's a broadcast booth, not a dinner date. Keep the love talk for after hours!