Showing posts with label Ugliest Men in Baseball. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Ugliest Men in Baseball. Show all posts

Monday, August 24, 2009

Ugliest Men in Baseball: Aaron Harang

This occasional series on some of the ugliest men in baseball focuses on those guys who have distinguished themselves through their unattractiveness. Why do this? To gain a better understanding of the role of physical aesthetics as it relates to player performance. In other words, this has absolutely no redeeming societal value whatsoever.

Ah, Aaron Harang. What an ugly couple of years for the ugly man, who looks like Droopy the Dog and pitches like a dead dog.

Things didn't always look so grim for Harang. Not so long ago, he was a rising star. The National League wins champion and strikeout champion in 2006, he finished fourth in the National League's Cy Young voting in 2007. His career's gone into the crapper since, as he's only managed 12 wins in 2 years. This year, he leaves the ugly scene of battle courtesy of an emergency appendectomy.

Interestingly, Harang's pitching downfall correlates with Dusty Baker's tenure as Reds manager. Yes, the same Dusty Baker that expertly managed pitching phenoms Mark Prior and Kerry Wood right into the dirt.

How ugly is he? 9 on the 10 scale.

Career stats: 75 wins, 80 losses. ERA 4.24.

Saturday, August 15, 2009

Ugliest men in baseball -- Julian Tavarez


This occasional series on some of the ugliest men in baseball focuses on those guys who have distinguished themselves through their unattractiveness. Why do this? To gain a better understanding of the role of physical aesthetics as it relates to player performance. In other words, this has absolutely no redeeming societal value whatsoever.

The inspiration for this occasional series? Seeing these ugly guys on baseball telecasts and remarking to my husband how ugly they are, which he always finds annoying, as he's usually focusing on the important things like batting stances, stats, situational analysis, etc.

Note that I'm leaving umpires, managers and general managers out of this list because I think enough has been written about the Steinbrenners.



Ah, Julian Tavarez. Who can forget him? His pock-marked face and constant scowl are reminiscent of the bad guy from the "Grease" movie. His attitude and penchant for fisticuffs, however, made the bad guy from "Grease" look like a honor student.

We hated Tavarez when he played for the Cubs, even though we're Cubs fans. Why? He has a streak of crazy a mile wide, and we hated having to root for him. He's the sort of guy you love to hate because of that "bad guy" aura he gives off, helped by his ugly, ugly face and the way he sometimes attacks people. The photo above flatters him. He almost looks like a normal human being.

He whined his way off the Cubs because they refused to make him a starter, eventually winding up with the St. Louis Cardinals where -- surprise! -- he was delegated to the bullpen. Touche!

Wanting to share his wonderful attitude and winning smile with the world, he traveled on to the Red Sox, and even started a few games for them, earning the loathing of the Sox fans I know for his typical unsportsmanlike conduct. It was with the Sox that he solidified his place on the Crazy Hall of Fame for brawling with the Rays during spring training 2006, even stepping on Joey Gathright's arm. At least he can't brass knuckles with him to the mound.

Tavarez is currently serving time with the Washington Nationals.

How ugly is he? Taverez is an 9 on the ugly scale, with 10 being eye-gougingly gawdawful.

Career stats: As of Aug. 15 -- 88 wins -82 losses, 4.46 ERA