No more fantasy baseball posts this year, 'tis depressing

Firmly entombed in last place, I must now concede the year, and look forward to rebuilding my dignity next year.

What went wrong? Perhaps I was just too patient, waiting for players to turn it around and heat it up when they had no gas left in their lamps *cough* Berkman, Harang *cough*. And my pitching stats were particularly rank -- for instance, I haven't won the holds category all year. So all in all, a bad effort and a bad year for Captain Choke, which certainly lived up to its name this year.

What does this mean for the direction of this blog? That, my friends, remains to be seen.

The Midas touch

Well, so far so bad. I'm in eighth place in our league, which wouldn't be so bad if it weren't a eight-team league.

I performed miserably the first week against The Maniacal Manager, a colleague and the guy in our league who's known as a crazed add-and-dropper. He's actually the reason we have a move limit, and even as generous as the limit is, he'll blow through it by the All-Star break, yet always manages to be near the top of our league and even proved victorious a few years in a row, as I recall.

Is the secret just to play whatever hand's hot, not waiting for the slow starters to warm up, taking a chance that you're throwing away gold and picking up crap? I don't really think so, but it certainly has worked for him in the past.

The Maniacal Manager says shuffling and reshuffling his team like that helps him relax. He has a strange way of relaxing.

Here's his lineup for tonight. Let's see what it looks like in a few months:

Starters

• Brandon Inge (Det - C,3B,OF)
• Carlos Peña (TB - 1B)
• Dustin Pedroia (Bos - 2B)
• Kevin Youkilis (Bos - 1B,3B)
• José Reyes (NYM - SS)
• Jacoby Ellsbury (Bos - OF)
• Curtis Granderson (Det - OF)
• Ryan Ludwick (StL - OF)
• Lance Berkman (Hou - 1B)

Bench

• Russell Martin (LAD - C,3B)
• Adam Jones (Bal - OF)
• Felipe López (Ari - 2B,3B,SS,OF)
• Jorge Cantú (Fla - 1B,3B)
• Ryan Theriot (ChC - SS)

DL

• Troy Glaus (StL - 3B)

Starting pitchers

• Ryan Dempster (ChC - SP)
• Josh Johnson (Fla - SP)
  

Relief pitchers

• Brad Lidge (Phi - RP)
• Jonathan Broxton (LAD - RP)

Pitchers

• Joba Chamberlain (NYY - SP,RP)
• Erik Bedard (Sea - SP)

Bench

• John Danks (CWS - SP)

Inspiration

The inspiration for this blog is easy to find, particularly now that it's baseball season.

This is my eighth or so season as a fantasy baseball nerd, and experience hasn't made it any easier. You throw some guys out there, hope they produce good statistics for you, and then bellyache when they don't. And hope your opponent has worse luck with his guessing game.

Any particular league has its share of nuts and juggernauts, and nuts who are juggernauts. Everybody has their own rule of thumb in particular situations. Some managers value guys who leg out triples, some adore their big sluggers, some prize their star pitchers above all else, some people love guys who play multiple positions -- the Mark DeRosas of the world. Some people famously add and drop like maniacs to get the hot hand until they run out of moves, if the league has a move limit.

Despite all the heartache and gnashing of teeth, fantasy baseball continues to be a welcome escape for a mundane, irritating and sometimes rather depressing existence, and all the dashed hopes and dreams of our lives can take a back seat to all the dashed hopes and dreams of fantasy. And somehow, it all seems less gloomy because it doesn't really matter, but we can pretend it does, and we can make those underperforming bums on our teams the scapegoats for all the hurt and angst of our real lives. It's therapeutic.